Tag Archives: Feeling Good About Yourself

My Epiphany in the Costco Parking Lot


But every so often, I’ll have, like, a moment, when just being myself, in my life, right where I am, is, like, enough.” (“Pressure,” My So-Called Life, ABC. Dec 1, 1994.)

I had been stressed – as usual – from most things in my life for awhile. I had started a new job a few months back, and dealing with the daily trials and tribulations of having a toddler. And of course, my ever-so-constant tendency to over-think, over-worry, and over-panic didn’t help all that much. And, oh, did I mention I rarely sleep through the night? Well that hadn’t been helping things either.

In short, I was burnt out.

But then something weird happened. I was just sitting in my car, waiting for my dad to come out of Costco, as we were on our way to a family birthday party. Sipping my diet Dr. Pepper, listening to Keith Urban on the stereo, I caught myself feeling…wait for it…relaxed. But how could this be? I hadn’t recalled feeling that way in a very long time. I had been trying to find ways to de-stress, without much success. And all it took was 10 minutes, alone in my car, essentially just doing nothing at all.

But that was the point…in that moment, I wasn’t trying – I was just being. It was such a little moment, for a very brief time, but it was a huge awakening for me.

We spend so much of our time in circumstances that we can’t control, being stressed out, and feeling powerless to change anything. And sadly, in many cases, we simply can’t change the circumstances in our life, or the things that stress us out. We have kids, jobs, spouses, friends, and a life that depends on us showing up MOST of the time.

But we can make room in our lives for little moments SOME of the time when we can opt out, take a breather, chill out, and just be. If we can eke out enough of these little moments, however fleeting, maybe, just maybe, our lives would be so much more tolerable. Maybe even enjoyable. Maybe even inspiring.


Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Life

To my beautiful little girl,

I hope I am lucky enough to watch you grow up. I hope we get to experience all the highs and lows of life together, to soak up every experience possible.

Sometimes, though, life changes suddenly, and tomorrow is never guaranteed. Or we get so busy with day-to-day tasks that we forget to really talk and connect the way that we should.

So just in case I forget, or am not able to tell you later on, here are some things I want you to know as you navigate your way through life:

You alone are enough. You don’t need anyone or anything else to complete you.

Falling in love is one of the best – and worst – experiences in life. Don’t try to fight it or analyze it to death. You love who you love, whether it’s right or wrong. Just enjoy the journey and don’t worry about the destination.

Normal is boring. Different is colorful, vibrant, and a crazy fun ride. So be different, be unique, be weird. Let your freak flag fly. You will never, ever regret it – trust me.

“Normal is boring. Different is colorful, vibrant, and a crazy fun ride…”

Family is everything. Go and do what you need to do in life, but never lose touch with your family of origin. And never get so busy that you neglect to create a second chosen family for yourself – whether that means a husband and children, or a family of good friends.

To be successful in all areas of life, you need to be hard-working, fun, and kind. If you really pay attention, you will notice that the best people in life possess all three traits.

Money DOES buy happiness. Most people say the opposite is true, but if you are broke and in debt up to your eyeballs, you will be miserable. You don’t have to be rich to be happy, but you do need to make enough so that you can pay all your bills, put a little away, and still have room to treat yourself from time to time.

Do what you love, whether you get paid for it or not. A hobby may turn into a career, or it may not. Just find something that makes you sparkle inside, and find ways to fit it into your life as much as possible.

“Just find something that makes you sparkle inside, and find ways to fit it into your life…”

Live a life of no regrets. If you are not sure if you should do something, stop and ask yourself this question: If I don’t do this, will I regret it on my deathbed? If the answer is yes, then go for it.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to change. Change is vital and necessary in life to keep growing and moving forward. Surround yourself with people who support and encourage this, and remove people from your life who don’t.

Everyone is someone’s child. Therefore, everyone is the center of someone’s universe, and every life matters. Treat every person equally, and with dignity and respect. But also demand that others treat you the same in return.

Because you are the center of my universe, and always will be.

Feeling Good vs Feeling Good ABOUT YOURSELF

“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that’s my religion.” -Abraham Lincoln

I can’t believe I’m in my forties and only am now starting to understand what feeling good about myself means. The realization slowly dawned on me lately as I’ve been trying….yet again…for the 525th time…to kick my compulsive eating habit. I feel good when I get to eat my favorite snacks, but I feel good about myself when I can summon the willpower to stay away from them. Or at least only have a small mouthful (ahemm….okay a small handful…or if it’s ice cream, half a tub instead of…okay, you get the picture).

This is so hard because I friggin’ love to eat. I don’t have to be hungry to eat…just happy/tired/bored/stressed/[insert any other emotion here]. Food has always been my kryptonite (along with very cute boys, but that’s a whole separate blog post).

I also love to exercise, but when you work full time and have a toddler, time and energy are in short supply. I have always been able to eat pretty much what I want as long as I exercise, but once I went back to work after mat leave was over, the pounds started creeping back…so I basically lost all my baby weight, then gained it back, plus 10 pounds (okay, so it was closer to 20 pounds…my bad).

So I guess that feeling good means enjoying things in the moment, even though they are not always good for me…eating/drinking too much; lounging on the couch instead of going for a walk; binge watching TV shows when I could be writing that best-selling novel (hey, I can dream, right??).

And that means that feeling good about myself means sometimes not enjoying things in the moment…skipping the extra snacks; pushing myself to exercise when I am dog tired; skipping the boob tube to do something more productive…but I feel better in the long run because I have accomplished something that makes me feel good about myself – which is something that each and every one of us wholeheartedly deserves.

So now that I have been productive and finished this blog post that makes me feel good about myself, I may just reward myself with a teeny, tiny treat…but only a couple of bites.