Motherhood has healed me in ways I never thought possible. It wasn’t until I lost my own mother that I realized how profound an effect it has had on my life.

When my daughter reached the pre-teen era and started pushing me away, craving independence, I gave her space, without question.

When she sometimes hurt my feelings unintentionally, just because she needed to express her true feelings, I let her speak.

When she wanted to spend less time with me in favour of other hobbies or friends, I encouraged and supported her.

Yet after my Mum passed away, all I could feel was guilt. Guilt for all the times I was short with her. Guilt for the times I chose to spend doing other things rather than spending time with her. Guilt for basically every single thing I ever did that hurt her feelings.

But then the magic that is motherhood came to save me. One day as my daughter was pushing me away trying to assert her independence, I stopped and smiled. In that instant I felt myself slipping into my Mum’s shoes and looking at me, her daughter, with pride, not hurt. Pride that she had raised her girl to feel free to express herself and do what was in her own best interest.

Any of the guilt I ever felt about my Mum vanished in that moment. Because I finally understood the magic of motherhood – by becoming a mother yourself, you will inevitably get to replay your own childhood all over again and in essence become your own mother.

And now when my daughter has one of her moments, I just think of my Mum. And I smile.